


Return

by orphan_account



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21725908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 2 years after Gossip Girl is revealed, Jenny returns to New York to make amends.
Relationships: Jenny Humphrey & Blair Waldorf, Jenny Humphrey & Serena van der Woodsen, Nate Archibald/Jenny Humphrey
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Return

I. Serena

Jenny could remember a time where the streets of New York conjured mixed memories of scheming, queenship, and yogurt-throwing, but this time, all she felt was a hollow feeling when she stepped out of her cab. She wondered if the city recognized her. She used to really be someone here - but that was more than two years ago, and now she more resembled her pre-Constance self than any other version of herself from her time living on the Upper East Side. Most of her natural blonde had grown back in, so she'd cut off the bleach-blonde ends. She'd almost even kicked the habit of smothering her eyes in makeup, although she doubted she'd ever grow completely out of that look. She no longer needed to force herself out of her youthful image. She honestly kind of missed it when people looked at her and saw a young, hopeful, glassy-eyed freshman and not the girl she'd grown into. 

Vanya took several moments to recognize her. Jenny would almost feel hurt, but she wasn't too surprised. She did look a bit more mature, and yet so like her old self, and he was definitely not familiar with that. When he did, his mouth split into a grin which she could not decipher the authenticity of. "Come in, Mr. Humphrey is upstairs waiting," he said, ushering her up with characteristic enthusiasm. So Dan had told people she was arriving. At least Vanya. Jenny wondered if the person she was really visiting knew she was coming. She could hardly believe that she would agree to meet up if she knew beforehand.

Stepping into the elevator, she was immediately sunk by sharp regret. What was she thinking, coming back here? Every time it resulted in more stupid mistakes and reversion to her former Blair-esque self. She'd spent so much time loathing that part of herself. With a sudden impulse, she punched the fifth floor button and sped off the elevator, brushing past a confused looking couple and stopping only when she reached a small alcove at the end of the fifth floor hallway. 

Jenny sighed and pushed her back to the wall, overwhelmed with the familiarity of it all. What a disappointment she was - couldn't even make it to the penthouse in the first place. And when she did, what was she supposed to say? Serena hated her. The only reason she would ever consider tolerating her again would be to appease Dan, and so what was the point of apologizing anyway? And yet, she missed New York. Her whole family was still here, and beyond that, thousands of opportunities to pursue fashion. 

With this reason in the back of her mind, Jenny forced herself back to the elevator and pushed the top button.

The doors crept open moments later, and she walked out to the open hall, flooded with memories. After all, she'd lived here too. 

As she rounded the corner, she heard them in the kitchen: Dan and Serena. Serena and Dan. Jenny wondered how it had taken them so long to realize that they would never really be whole without each other. This time things seemed to actually be working at last. Jenny wondered if Gossip Girl had been the one thing keeping them apart, or maybe that they just needed to really grow up before they realized that they were meant to be together. Either way, she had waited two whole years to make sure Serena was worth coming home and apologizing to. It had been an awkward couple years of avoiding the Van der Woodsen holiday parties and hiding out in Hudson or Brooklyn during New York visits.

"I just can't believe you're springing this on me now," Serena hissed from around the corner. Jenny rolled her eyes and waited a few seconds before stepping out from the corner so Serena could at least pretend to be happy to see her.

"Jen - it's so good to see you," Dan said quickly as she appeared, coming around from behind the counter to hug her tightly. At least Dan would always really mean it when he said that. She exhaled with a small amount of relief as she released him.

"Yeah, Jenny, welcome back," Serena said with a tight smile. Jenny decided that a hug might be premature.

A brief uncomfortable silence settled over them before Jenny cleared her throat awkwardly. "Uh, Dan, do you mind if I talk to Serena for a minute?"

His eyes widened for a second before he shook himself out of it. "Right, of course. Um, I'll just be... not here," he said, walking quickly up the stairs as Serena pursed her lips with narrowly concealed irritation. She reluctantly turned back to Jenny and gave a small, polite, fake smile.

Jenny gestured to the couch and Serena followed her there, sitting beside her and clearly avoiding eye contact.

Jenny huffed. This was clearly going to be just as difficult as she thought.

"Look, Serena," she began, twisting her fingers together anxiously. "I know there's a lot of history here, and I did some really bad things to you. And, even though you weren't always exactly innocent either" - Serena shot her a look - "I never had the right to be so careless and stupid, and just mean. And I'm sorry." 

A moment of silence passed. "And I'm not saying this because of Dan, or anyone else. I just really hate the person that I became and the things I did to you and everyone else. And I really just want to go back to the way things were before all of that... and the person I was before that."

Jenny thinks maybe it's sympathy she's detecting in Serena's eyes. She glances around the room with uncertainty, and Jenny can tell she's still deciding how to respond.

Serena lets out a dramatic sigh, but when she locks eyes with Jenny again she seems genuine. She hasn't looked at Jenny like that since she was still Little J, her boyfriend's little well-meaning sister. She sort of was, now.

"I guess I'm at fault for some of it too," Serena admitted reluctantly, allowing a small smile that made Jenny's anxiety subside a little. "And it means a lot to hear that from you. And that you're really back to the Jenny I really loved."

Jenny smiled. "Friends then?"

Serena nodded slowly. "Friends."

II. Blair

It made nearly one month that Jenny was back. And although she mostly remained reclusive, hiding in the spare room at the Van der Woodsen's and eating in with Dan and Serena, she was slowly becoming more comfortable being in New York again. But there were still a few people that Jenny knew she owed apologies to. She'd get there eventually. Until then, she really missed having the Gossip Girl "Spotted!" map to avoid them.

This was especially so when she was strolling down Madison Avenue only to see the two people she most wanted to hide from. Blair and Chuck, looking happy and in-love and like Jenny would probably be the last thing they'd want to see today. She turned immediately, cursing profusely under her breath and probably concerning a few of the other people passing by. 

"Jenny?" Her name rang through the air like an accusation. It probably was. She turned around slowly, and when she did, Blair was standing in front of her with Chuck in tow. 

"You're back," Blair said with more disbelief than distaste. It almost surprised Jenny; she glanced uncertainly between the two of them. Chuck looked almost apologetic, as if he knew that Blair was seconds from launching another signature takedown.

"Listen, Blair, I really don't want to cause any trouble," Jenny said quickly. 

"Since when?" Blair chuckled, uncharacteristically blithe. 

"I, um," Jenny started. Chuck stepped forward meaningfully.

"Maybe you two need to have a conversation," he said, looking at Blair encouragingly. Jenny's heart sunk to her stomach. There was no way this would end well.

Blair only continued to stare at her with an unreadable expression. "Alright. Got time, Little J?"

Jenny nodded, and the two of them ducked a nearby coffee shop, sitting at a small table by the door. Jenny took note of escape routes, just in case Blair was just waiting for a moment alone to strike.

And yet, Blair sat in front of her calmly, looking at her expectantly.

"Um, listen, Blair," Jenny began, taking the hint. "I'm sorry for everything that happened when I left. All of it. The Chuck stuff, the Tim Gunn thing, always coming after you and everyone else on the Upper East Side. I'm not like that now."

"Come on, Jenny, of course you are. At least a little bit," Blair shook her head, somehow smiling at the memory. Jenny was completely taken aback. Where was the boiling anger that she'd always been met with when she encountered Blair? Had she entirely forgotten about Jenny's banishment? "But, I believe you."

"You do?" Jenny responded with genuine surprise. 

"I do," Blair said genuinely. "I know things between us haven't always been...easy. But I'm happy. Really happy. And I know now that you're not the reason that things didn't work out before with Chuck." She looked down at the table. 

"Thank you, Blair."

"Well I hope you're not expecting for us to be best friends now. Just because I forgive you for being an awful person doesn't mean I want to paint our nails and braid each other's hair," she snapped, sounding a lot more like herself.

"No, I know that," Jenny smiled.

Blair stood up. "Well, then. That's settled. See you around then, Little J."

"Yeah. You will."

III. Nate

Jenny stood awkwardly outside the apartment and considered bolting. If she did, would it be so bad? I mean, she could just tell Dan that she had felt suddenly sick or that she'd gone to the wrong door. Or maybe he wasn't home - or maybe he was, and he had a girl over. All of these sounded a lot more appealing than ringing the doorbell, but she did it anyway. She figured Dan would probably see right through her excuses anyway.

A moment later, the door swung open, and there he was, as unfairly handsome as she remembered. "Jenny," he said with surprise. He grinned, swinging the door open for her to walk in.

"Hi," she said, walking in slowly. "I hope it's okay that I..." 

"It's always okay," he said, placing a guiding hand on her back as they walked to the living room. "God, it's been forever. Did you forget that you have a phone?"

"No," Jenny scoffed, pushing him away good-naturedly before slumping onto the couch. Of course this was easy. When was it ever not easy to be around Nate? "You know, things have just been really different."

"You look different."

"That's not what I meant."

"Yeah, well that's what I meant," Nate said as he plopped down beside her. "You look good."

"Thanks," Jenny mumbled, feeling heat rising to her cheeks as if she was in ninth grade again. 

"So is there a reason you showed up after two years with no call, or did you just miss me that much," he said, tilting his head inquisitively. Jenny smiled and threw a pillow at him.

"Both," she said as he swatted it away, taking a deep breath and preparing for Round 3 of the Jenny Apology Tour. "I just felt like I need to apologize now that I'm back."

Nate's gaze softened and he discarded the pillow, quietly waiting for her to talk. She avoided his eyes, pushing down what remnants of her crush had been brought back after not seeing him in years. She'd learned the hard way that those feelings would never come to fruition, so it was better off for everybody if they were forgotten.

"I did a lot of horrible things. And I turned into someone that I'm not proud of," Jenny began shakily. This apology felt a little different, because she knew that a lot of the stuff she had done all came back to her feelings for him. She thought briefly about what to say next, and Nate waited patiently. 

"I really liked you," Jenny said quietly, finally. "And I thought that because I did, I deserved you. But I didn't. I probably never will." Jenny's eyes flitted up nervously, hoping that he didn't catch the obvious implication of those last words. If he did, she couldn't tell. 

"I never should have come between you and Serena. And I manipulated you, because you were just that good of a person," Jenny laughed vacantly, blinking away tears. "I'm sorry."

Nate looked at her sadly, and silently scooted closer and wrapped an arm around her tentatively. She let him, sort of confused, but sort of not, because only Nate was virtuous enough to respond like that. "I know, Jenny," he murmured into her hair, and she started to cry. 

She pulled away slowly. She shouldn't make herself the victim again. A part of her wanted him to be mad. He deserved to yell at her, to toss away her feelings. To throw her out like he did when she had ruined his relationship with Serena. But instead, when she looked up at him, completely undone, he pulled her back in and kissed her in a way she didn't deserve. 

She let him.


End file.
